I wrote this a while ago, but here:
You know those things that shouldn’t be awkward but they are. I’ll give you an example; when your teacher brings in bagels for the class. You expect me, at 8am, to get in line for a bagel and like prepare it to my liking. You’re kidding. I’m not like customizing my bagel in from of my classmates. No thanks.
It’s the small things in life. So, a couple days ago I bought something dumb; a wireless key board. I can’t defend this purchase; however, I can defend what I’ve done with it. This key board connects to any device through bluetooth and can span up to 30ft away from said device. So naturally, in my lecture the other day I put my computer on a random table and took notes from across the room. Probably the funniest thing I‘ve ever done. $26 dollars well spent.
The comedy in fucking up. Yesterday a letter was slipped under my apartment door addressed to me. The title read: pay in 30 days or vacate.” Yeah, I forgot to pay rent for two months, what about it? Sure, I was on the verge of eviction but I also got to put a hand-written custom letter on my fridge. That’s worth it to me. Moral of the story: every mistake is another piece of fridge-decor.
Nothing commands a room like a stench. A smell is perhaps the least self-aware being of all time. I’m not referring to one that came from you, I’m talking about those random rancid scents that waft in out of nowhere and then seem to fade. A bad scent transcends any context in any formality. It can’t read a room for the life of it. Smells will crash a wedding, kill a boner, interrupt a political debate, etc, etc. It doesn’t matter whether you’re Meryl Streep or Joe the barista, no one is safe from the affects of a stench. It reminds us that we’re literally just animals. Like it doesn’t matter if your in a formal business meeting if a stench rolls in you you’re like “what the fuck are we doing here” like, “what’s our purpose,” “let’s dip.”