I already wrote an entire blog for this week and just deleted the whole thing. I just didn’t love it. So, I’m starting fresh, even though I have no idea what to write about. Sometimes writing is a challenging medium. You must sacrifice certain jokes or details as they would make no sense to the reader. Without tone or delivery I am left to write about very limited types of content. This makes the process quite challenging on some days, especially when I have funny or insightful things to share but shy away from them in fear they won’t be received well.
Something funny happened this weekend. Let me explain. For those of you who don’t know I visited my boyfriend at school over the weekend. On Saturday we had some time to kill so, naturally, I searched “pet stores near me.” L.O.L. Background: I love animals. After scrolling for two minutes I stumbled upon “Rainforest Farms International.” Sounds perfect. I tell my boyfriend that we’re gonna walk to this “surprise” place, 13 minutes away. With that, the journey had commenced. 13 minutes later, we found ourselves in the middle of a rural neighborhood. I included a picture of this “fish store” far below for comedic effect. Please scroll now to see where I took my boyfriend.
Hey, I’m down here now. Yup. This was the afternoon “activity” I chose. We did proceed to walk through the overgrown path to the front door. To our surprise, and yours, there were fish inside. After knocking and waiting for probably way too long, we left, defeated. On our walk back my boyfriend began reading aloud some of the reviews left on Google. Here are some of my favorites: “Absolute trash fish",”Friend ordered a lemon Oscar as a late birthday present and it arrived dead,”He's shadey. He's a liar and he's a thief".” Awesome choice Sam!
“you have $1.67 in your bank account.”
— My Dad
There’s something so funny about Google celebrating their 25th anniversary. If you haven’t noticed everything you search today is followed by confetti. So when I searched “what does a lice bug look like” I was insensitively celebrated. Sweet but like, is this shit dandruff or what?
Yesterday I was minding my own business at my favorite coffee shop, when a girl came up to me and goes “excuse, can I have a moment of your time?” I obviously agreed enthusiastically. With my upmost support, she explained how for her journalism class she was asked to capture students “in their natural habitat” lol. As she took a photo of me shoulders up, she went “don’t worry only my TA will see this.” And, with that, I moved on with my day. Not even an hour later I receive a text from a camp friend who, DOES NOT GO TO MY SCHOOL, with a fucking screenshot of the photo I was told was “going nowhere.” The photo didn’t just go somewhere it fucking ran.