zip car

november 8

Tuesday

These two images may appear completely unrelated; however, they are complexly intertwined. The beaut on the right provided a means for me to pick up my pre-scheduled sandwich order I had placed the night before at a pre-game.

what you need to know before renting a zip car

you’re not above the “honk” feature

The car will not be in an obvious spot. Instead, it will be purposely hidden in a seemingly abandoned territory in the parking garage. Because of this, it is not a matter of if, but when you will surrender to the system and sound a car alarm so you can locate your grey Honda HR-V. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

dont expect anything to go as planned

When I finally found the car I tried turning it on. I put my foot on the break and pushed the start button. To no avail. I called the help line and the first thing Allison said was “did you turn the wheel at the same time you pressed the button?” What’s up? Did I turn the wheel at the same time I pressed the button?? What do you think, Allison?How many arms do you think I have? Since when is that common knowledge? So, in short, it’s super simple to start your zip car as long as you can contort you body and simultaneously press the break, move the wheel, and firmly push the start button.

BE PREPARED FOR EVIDENCE OF past VENDettas and crimes

Despite being essentially a public resource, be prepared for your car to not only have evidence of past use but also remnants of deeply personal conflicts between passengers. Take Carrie Underwoods song in which she sings “I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires, etc.” either Underwood drove this car right before you or someone else went through a similar breakup because, trust me, those scratches are not accidents. I actually verbatim submitted those lyrics in the space provides under the prompt “please list all damage on the vehicle”

don’t touch anything

Do not touch the open red-bull in the passenger door, do not touch the used tissue under your seat, do not touch the random coins left in the glove compartment, and lastly, do not touch the mirror, instead, simply pray its in the right place. This is not your time to be a good samaritan; simply keep your hands to yourself and focus on the road.

  • "about to pull the 'we're only in college once card'...we're only in college once"

    Local college philosopher

  • "just ripped a fart in the hallway"

    brave college student

  • "once im done with this semester my life will be better"

    Random College Student

  • "daddy"

    random student sitting behind me in class, in reference to our 63 year old professor