we need to talk

we need to talk

November 28

YOU GONNA EAT THAT?

I was at the airport on my way home from Thanksgiving break when I ran into two friends at security. Not to flex but I have clear so we went our separate ways and I met up with them at the end of their line. One of their bags was pulled from the line and getting manually searched when I arrived. I watched in horror as the brave TSA front-liner rolled up her sleeves and fished out a zip lock bag full of corned beef. She then proceeded to hold the contents up to the light and massage the meat in search for explosives. When the beef was no longer recognizable, she threw it back in his duffle and went “you’re good.” lol. I was not and neither was he. I rather her whip out a fully loaded gun from my bag then left over beef, personally.

WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

September - July

The following observation is both tragic and relatable. It will leave you wondering: “what the fuck are we doing.” I do not have the answer to this question as I too have no idea what we are doing. College kids will use any excuse to party. That’s just the fact. It doesn’t matter what the weather is or what the political climate is or even if we’re in the midst of a war, we will throw down. It’s so unacceptable. I got a text from a frat last night saying “come celebrate the USA at our basement party.” Like what would have happened if we lost? “Come drown your sorrows tonight at the house”?????? I’ve done god’s work and created a list of names for frats all over the country to choose for their next basement rager. You’re welcome in advance.

  1. Roe v. Wade Masquerade

  2. Fuck war get on the dance floor

  3. No more fighting, let’s start inviting

  4. Celebrate Brown v. Board of ed and get some head tonight!

  5. You don’t need a gun to have a lil fun

Good to be home.   

  • "holy fuck i did something bad"

    Random College Student

  • "it's all over my body and it won't come out"

    Random College Student

  • "Tuesdays don't agree with me"

    Random College Student

  • "jesus my hair is a museum exhibit"

    Random College Student

  • "pooping with indigestion was harder than chem 103"

    Random College Student

Love you all. Have a good week.