the real world scaries

It can be daunting trying to articulate the complexities of a day in the life of a 22 year old in New York; all of its nuances, its puzzling moments, its weird looks, its side glances, its volume, its smell, its feeling, you get it. So daunting, that I’ve struggled to write anything. It feels impossible to simplify and squeeze recent experiences into comprehensible sentences. Nonetheless, here’s my best attempt.

As some of you may know, I am currently at my first “big girl” job. So naturally, I’m in a constant state of confusion. My latest struggle is my inability to have a regular lunch break i.e sit down somewhere and eat for the full 60 minutes. Nope. Instead, I have to go on some side quest regarding whatever hyper fixation I may have that given week.

For example, two weeks ago, instead of grabbing a “quick bite,” as the experienced businessmen call it, I went to three different stores looking for a memory card for a camera that stopped being produced in the May of 2008. I had convinced myself that in order to tap back into my sense of self, I needed to pick up photography, a skill that has lay dormant in me since I was 12, during my hour lunch break. I ended up ordering the piece off Amazon and have used the camera once since.

Then, just last week, I developed an intense need for a new jacket so I went to Zara to H&M back to Zara. When it became apparent that neither store possessed the coat I had designed in my head, I had 10 minutes of my lunch to spare. Awesome.

Despite many failed attempts at having a “regular” lunch, I nevertheless fall into the trap I’ve coined as the “this will take me 15 minutes max.”

That brings me to today where I got a 30 minute foot massage. Yup. Can’t even defend this one. One second I was sitting at my computer and the next I was face down in my underwear getting my calves rubbed. It sounded like a good idea when I booked it two hours prior. In short, I had to eat my tomato soup at my desk.

Can someone please figure out what mental disorder it is to obsess over any ounce of free time one gets or is it simply the “real world scaries.”